I set a goal at the beginning of this year to spend less time worrying about the future and live more in the present. Wouldn’t you know it that not a few days in to the year, some things happened in my personal life that meant I had to refigure out my future in a big way. Cue the worrying. It seems that every time we want to make positive changes, wrenches get thrown in the way that make it so much harder.
I’m hear to tell you it doesn’t just seem that way. It is REAL.
One of the things I talk to my clients about is homeostasis. Homeostasis is the tendency of systems to establish and gravitate towards a status quo, or equilibrium- things staying the same. Different parts work together to maintain this status quo, and once it is established, its hard to change. When we want to change something, even if its a positive change, then things are going to work against us to get us back to that normal. Establishing a new normal is tough because it doesn’t just seem that things are working against us, THEY REALLY ARE! It’s why we feel sore after a workout. Or why our cookie cravings increase after we have our first salad for dinner. Our body is saying NO! Don’t change! Go back to the way things were, that’s comfortable and I know how to do that!
Our lives, our relationships, our minds are just like our bodies. Things are going to work against us, but that doesn’t mean we’re headed in the wrong direction. In fact, if things seem to get worse before they get better, harder before they get easier, it means we are on the right track. We have to push past that resistance, sometimes over and over, before we get to see what is on the other side.
So don’t lose hope if you’re trying to make changes and things seem to be getting worse. They are getting worse. But that doesn’t mean they won’t get better. It probably means you are right where you need to be.